* Humour *
There is certainly nothing like a good old chuckle to warm your heart!
So I have chosen are a few funny bunnies for you . . .
" Okay, I know I'm just a drop in a bucket . . .
but hey, one bunny in a bucket is worth a lot more than thousands in the bush!"
(Copyright - Christine Carter)
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A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
"What on earth are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
To which the lady replied "Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said,
"I'm westing."
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A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful, that he begins to cry. A woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible!," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The lady says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.He runs over to the woman and asks,"What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says...
"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."
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Egg Head!
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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks "Excuthe me,
do you have any widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and says "Do you want a widdle, white wabbit, or a thoft, fuffy bwack
wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers,
"I don't fink my pyfon weally cares!
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- A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not". So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story . . . .
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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After a long day at work a man came home one day to find his dog with the neighbour’s pet rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit was obviously dead.
The man panicked!
He thought if his neighbours found out his dog killed their bunny they would be furious and from thereon
may never be on friendly terms ever again.
So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur.
He knew his neighbours didn’t lock their gate, so he sneaked into their backyard and put the bunny back in the cage,
in the hope that the neighbours would think it died of natural causes.
A couple of days later while taking the rubbish bin up the front of the house his neighbour briskly walked towards him.
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbour asked.
"Oh dear. Uhmm . . . I am so sorry to hear that. What happened?" he mumbled.
The neighbour replied, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strangest thing is
that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back in his hutch!"
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How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? He eggsercises (particularly hareobics)What family show do bunnies watch for birth control? Eight is enough
How do you catch a rabbit? Unique up on it!
What is a rabbit's favourite game? Hopscotch
Who is buns' favourite western movie star? Hop Along Cassidy
And the worst bun joke ever . . . .
What weighs 35 tones, has 4 ears and is 800 million years old?
Two rabbits riding on a brontasaurus.
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The Bunny and the Snake
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my, said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is as yours. I too have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be a team leader, a supervisor or possibly someone in senior management."
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